Meeting Motherhood with Madison E | TDXO Spring Series

Hi! I’m Madison. I came onboard to work with Tiffany and TDXO a little while back and have loved every minute of it. When I’m not working, I’m a first time mom to 7 month old, Max, wife to Michael, and mom to our furbabies, Evie and Joey in Nashville, TN!

I recently came back from an extended maternity leave (I use the word “extended,” lightly, because thanks, pandemic!) and have recently been learning to balance motherhood with working from home. As I’m navigating this new chapter in my life, I’ve been chronicling some of it on social media to relate with other new moms. Because if adjusting to parenthood isn't hard enough - let's throw social distancing and a pandemic in the mix as well, right?

Tiffany was kind enough to ask me to share some of my recent thoughts on adjusting to not only this new chapter (season) - but also a new identity.

When you have a baby, you’re fully aware that your life is going to change on a day to day basis. But I don’t think anyone can prepare you for how much you’re also going to change from the inside out. Because you’re not just YOU anymore. You’re a mom. It consumes you - mind, body, spirit, nature, and soul. You're innate, inner self isn't just pumping energy and effort into your own lifeline, but also this tiny extension of yourself that you're now responsible for. It changes you: both mentally, spiritually, and physically.

And let me say: that sh*t is no joke.

Then you bring this little human home and you're so wrapped up in adjusting to this new life that one day you wake up and don't even recognize the person in the mirror. And that's not just from the 4 days of dry shampoo and bags under your eyes. Your baby isn't the only new person in your home anymore.

Whether it's a new mom adjusting to motherhood, or mom that's been a mom for a while and reminiscing - I hope these words find their way to someone who needs them.

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When our baby was born, I thought we would be bringing a stranger home from the hospital.

But I knew my baby.

I spent nine months getting to know him.

Every hiccup. The way his foot flutters when he’s sleeping. His stretches and wiggles.

That was familiar.

I didn’t know that stranger was going to be me.

This person was unfamiliar.

New face. New body. New mind. New worries.

How am I supposed to trust my instinct to make the right choices when I don’t even recognize the face in the mirror.

While I have loved being a mom, I have been resentful of this stranger in our home.

So insecure. So anxious. So easily frustrated. So adrift - feeling without purpose outside of motherhood.

Different face.

Different hairline.

Constantly at war with trying to adapt and plan all at the same time.

It’s taken some time, but I’ve grown to love this new person.

Slowly starting to understand how her worries and anxiety come from a place of love and pride.

Watching how she’s learned to adapt and bloom into this multitasking beast with burning purpose.

This new body was home to a baby for nine months and brought him into this world.

It nourishes him and grows him.

It’s strong and provides him comfort.

It’s still his home. The first one he ever knew and the one he still clings to.

It carried him for months and still to this day.

How despite all of her research and plans, she’s blooming into a mother of her own security, confidently parenting in her own way, and less concerned about doing it the “right way.”

I’m also learning that motherhood is about constantly finding new versions of yourself.

Mom of newborn

Mom of infant

Mom of toddler

Mom of child

Mom of young adult

Mom of adult

It’s taken a while, but lately, as I’m rocking Max to sleep, I look up and catch the eye of the woman in the mirror and smile.

She’s pretty freakin amazing.