Let Your Heart Bloom with Nicole Moore | TDXO Spring Series
Everyone always focuses on February for the season of love (because, Valentine’s Day) but as we’re taking a fresh step forward into spring - I think it’s always important to open ourselves up for relationships and connections as well.
Dating can be intimidating. And even more so now that we’ve been “socially distancing” ourselves for over a year now. A crucial foundation for dating though is discovering your inner dating personality and setting yourself up for success. Different dating personalities have different steps to focus on in order to date successfully and find what they are looking for quicker and (hopefully) with less drama involved!
That’s why I wanted to bring my friend and love coach extraordinaire, Nicole Moore, into this blog post to walk us through some dating, love, and relationship advice as well as some tips and tricks to let love BLOOM this spring :)
TDXO: What are the different dating personalities?
Nicole: In my work with thousands of women over the past 10 years, I've seen that there are 5 different dating personality types:
The Drama Queen
The Totally Single Total Catch
The Over-Giving Martyr
The Ice Queen
and the Chronically Single/ Miss Independent
TDXO: What are some specific dating tips for these dating personalities that would help a fresh start with dating in the spring?
Drama Queen - this spring, it's time to LET GO of your attraction to unavailable partners and chaos once and for all. Grab your journal and ask yourself this: what am I getting from being in relationships where people don't fully commit to me? Often, the Drama Queen feels intense chemistry with those who are not fully available and bored with those who are because it's a subconscious way to protect herself from being abandoned. She chooses partners she knows will leave so she doesn't have to find a really great one and risk being left.
So this spring, give the nicer daters a chance. If you meet someone who you're physically attracted to and they seem great but you don't feel instant chemistry with them, go on at least 3 dates with them just to be sure. Be willing to forego that crazy chemical high of instant chemistry to see if a slower burn actually works better for you.
Totally Single Total Catch - this spring, it's time to step into your true worthiness in love, once and for all. You already feel confident in the other areas...you're a total catch! But let's be real, in love, you tend to freak out and get insecure if you meet someone you really like. All of a sudden that person is on a pedestal and you're obsessing about them and worrying about how to be perfect enough to make them choose you. It's time to let that go.
Your mantra for spring is: I am the best of the best and I deserve the best of the best. Repeat this often, especially if you start to feel insecure when you meet someone who you think might finally be a match.
Over-Giving Martyr - this spring, instead of giving so much to others, give to you! The over-giving martyr tends to attract dates and partners who need fixing. It's a way to distract yourself from focusing on your true potential and some part of you believes that if you can just get them to heal, act better or feel better then you'll magically get the love you want too. Only, the love you want is here for you right now, inside of you!
This spring, schedule a weekly self-care date into your calendar. Do something just for you. A spa day or grabbing a book and just relaxing. Maybe a bubble bath and chocolate. Your new mantra is: I take excellent care of myself and I only accept others who will take care of me just as much, if not more
Ice Queen - this spring, let your heart thaw! Ok, I know you've been hurt before. It's very likely that you felt like the rug was pulled out from under you in romance before and now, you're terrified to really let someone in. But, your spring romance can't come if there's a padlocked wall around your heart. Grab a pen and paper and ask yourself this: If I wasn't afraid of getting hurt again and I wasn't so busy protecting myself, what would I want to create in my love life now? Just allow yourself to dream again.
Spring is a time for new beginnings and it's time to let your heart have a new beginning too. Imagine that your heart can let the walls down and breathe a bit. Your new mantra is: It's safe to let love in.
Chronically Single / Miss Independent - For you, being single isn't a temporary state you know you'll get out of some day, it's your identity. So, this spring, allow your identity to change. Stop seeing yourself as the person who never gets asked out and start seeing yourself as someone who does. Break out your manifesting power and use it in the right direction...for love.
This might feel silly, but it works....put an appointment in your calendar every Friday in spring (or whatever day you prefer) that says DATE. Feel what it would feel like if this was your real life calendar and you had a date every Friday, maybe even more. During the week, get into the feelings you'd have if you actually did have a date. Make believe. Before you know it, you actually will have a date to fill the space in your calendar. Just keep manifesting.
TDXO: Are there any specific tips for keeping things fresh in a relationship that has seen a few seasons OR numerous cycles of seasons
Nicole: The first step to keep things fresh in a relationship that's already had plenty of seasons is to admit what's not working. Often, when things start to feel stale in a relationship, it's because one or both partners are not expressing their true feelings and desires to each other. Couples keep things in to maintain status quo but all of those unexpressed desires and emotions tend to create a dull, just going through the motions energy. So, rock the boat, but in a loving way.
Dedicate an hour or more to just chat with your partner about real feelings and connect on what you most desire now and where you want your relationship to go. From there, put those things into place. Schedule date nights. Start to do little sweet loving things for your partner. Focus on wanting to make them as happy now as you did when you first started dating. If both people do that, the relationship will feel fresh in no time.
TDXO: Any love/relationship advice that could be relevant for a new season
Nicole: The best love advice I could ever give is to really trust love. What I mean by that is that so many people actually trust fear in their relationships. They trust the voice in their head that says they should hold back, not be their real selves, not trust someone else or worry about getting hurt. Relationships feel the best though, when there is a free flow of love between two people. So, check in with yourself daily and ask: who am I following right now, love or fear. If it's fear, forgive yourself and recommit to love.
To learn more about your dating personality type, here are two quizzes below [click the picture to find out yours]:
Dating Personality Types
Dating Personality Types CELEB EDITION
Nicole Moore is a love coach who helps, powerful, influential women find their ideal partner. Using her signature Love Works Method, she’s helped thousands of women find lasting love fast. Nicole has three life coaching certifications, including certification from New York University. She’s been featured in Money Magazine, Forbes, and Greatist.com.
Learn more about Love Works Method at https://loveworksmethod.com/
Check out her AWESOME Instagram and fantastic Reels: @nicolemoorelove